FINALE: Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 10: The Dead

The Dead

Well, here we are at the finale episode of Season 3 of History Channel’s Vikings. This is what went down in Episode 10 (entitled The Dead):

We start the episode with Paris bowing down and paying their dues to the vikings. Gisela (Morgane Polanski) is pissy at her dad, King Charles (Lothaire Bluteau), for paying the toll but the King is okay with being spineless.

There is much talk in this episode about Ragnar Lothbrok’s (Travis Fimmel) Christian baptism in Episode 9 and it will be interesting to see just how much of a religious zealot Floki (Gustaf Skarsgard) is when it comes to Ragnar.

Time passes and the vikings still haven’t left the shores of Paris so Count Odo (Owen Roe) heads off to check out why they have reneged on their deal. Bjorn Ironside (Alexander Skarsgard) lets them know their king is deathly ill and when Odo checks, viewers are really starting to believe Ragnar just might not survive this episode. But Ragnar is smart and taking Bjorn into his confidences a plan is hatched.

Just on a side note, what did everyone think of Count Odo turning out to be all 50 Shades? Yeah, totally not impressed here either. What a cop out History Channel…

And then Ragnar is dead and there is many tears shed in our household as Lagertha (Katheryn Winnick) confesses her hopes that Odin will take Ragnar from heaven and return him to Valhalla where he belongs, and where she can love him all over again. Then Rollo (Clive Standen) is confessing he is not so sad to see Ragnar – the sibling the gods always favoured – go, and Floki is professing his undying love – and hatred – for Ragnar.

So Ragnar had just one wish, to have a Christian funeral. It is agreed his body can be bought into Paris where the bishop will bless his body and where Ragnar can surprise the shit out of everyone by jumping up out of his coffin and stabbing that bishop dead!

Because that’s how vikings roll.

Poor King Charles responds to the victorious attack on Paris and the kidnapping of his daughter Gisela by fainting.

However, once Ragnar has terrorised the city, as he is leaving, he releases Gisela and lets her return to her daddy. Yeah, I’d probably feel sorry enough for the poor thing to let her go too. Plus, there needs to be someone still in Paris with a backbone to lead once Rollo returns with the promise of marriage to Gisela. And boy doesn’t Gisela have it in spades when she insults the hell out of Rollo in French? Rollo has no idea what she is saying but is obviously smitten.

But, getting back to Ragnar, he leaves Paris, still sick as a dog and returns to Kattegat. But not before letting Floki know he knows who killed Athelstan (George Blagden). Does this make them sworn enemies now?

What did you think of the Season 3 finale of History Channel’s Vikings? Let us know your thoughts by commenting below!

(Photo Credits: History Channel, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.)

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• Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 9: Breaking Point (vikingsnewsandrecaps.wordpress.com)

Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 9: Breaking Point

Breaking Point

Episode 9 (entitled Breaking Point) Season 3 of History Channel’s Vikings is, essentially, Paris Raid 2.0

We find Ragnar (Travis Fimmel) sick – peeing blood sick – so the next raid commences with Lagertha (Katheryn Winnick) sneeking into Paris via the river in the dead of night. She manages to slit a throat before anyone is alerted to their presence. A battle ensures, people are killed on both sides, but thanks to Lagertha using the hot burning oil trick against the Parisians, the Northmen waiting outside the gates are now free to enter.

Meanwhile, as Rollo (Clive Standen) is scaling torturous balls of spiky hell, Count Odo (Owen Roe) is trying to convince King Spineless Charles (Lothaire Bluteau) he needs to be seen and show the troops some moral support. Needless to say this doesn’t happen.

But what does happen is a very interesting conversation between the captured Sinric and Count Odo. It seems Rollo made quite the impression on the Parisians and they want to know who he is. Sinric describes Rollo as fighting like a crazy bear. This is interesting because the Seer (John Kavanagh) prophesied that a bear would marry a princess and suddenly the goo-goo eyes going on between the annoying Princess Gisela (Morgane Polanski) and Rollo make a whole lot more sense.

While all this is going on, Ragnar is having visions of Athelstan (George Blagden) and I am beginning to really consider the fact he might be beyond repair this time. It seems this whole scene revolves around Athelstan being baptised and Ragnar not.

Also, just when you thought all the blood and gore couldn’t get any worse, enter Siegfried, the captured viking who wants his hair held back while he is beheaded:

But what about Kattegat?

Seems the Christians are taunting the vikings and Aslaug (Alyssa Sutherland) has to deal with it. A trial by fire, it turns out. What the Christian hopes will happen is that, by the grace of God, he will carry the burning rock across to Aslaug and prove his god’s existence. What actually happens is he squeals like a pig and Asluag is done with him.

And in Wessex?

King Ecbert (Linus Roache) is continuing in his plan to go from my most liked Englishman (other than Athelstan) to my most hated. This week he promises to keep Judith (Jennie Jacques) and her son Alfred safe – so long as she presents her harlot card to him. He also pulls the ‘wounded dad’ face when his son, Aethelwulf (Moe Dunford), asks him if he was perhaps hoping Kwenthrith of Mercia (Amy Bailey) would kill him.

 But back to Paris…

It seems we have a plague on top of the viking invasion. It does nothing more than force hands, both those of Paris and the Northmen. Ragnar calls dibs considering he’s the king and goes to make a deal with the the Parisians – but first he wants to be baptised.

And boy doesn’t that piss of all the vikings?!

What did you think of Episode 9 of History Channel’s Vikings? Let me know your thoughts by commenting below!

You can read my Episode 10 recap here.

(Photo Credits: History Channel, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.)

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• Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 8: To The Gates! (vikingsnewsandrecaps.wordpress.com)

Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 8: To the Gates!

To the Gates!

Boy, oh boy, am I glad this week’s episode picked up from last week’s. I think this one may even be my favourite for the season so far! Here’s what went down in Episode 8 (entitled To The Gates!) Season 3 of History Channel’s Vikings:

Most Epic Battle Scene So Far

It was about ten minutes in when I realised just how awesome this week’s episode really would be – and just how much it was all about the epic battle to claim Paris. This episode is hard to sum up in words because it was more about the visual enormity of it. Even with my love for Episode 8, there is actually not a lot to say about this episode other than the Vikings actually bit off more than they could chew in the form of Paris. While Athelstan (George Blagden) had given them some wonderful insights in how to scale the impenetrable and Floki (Gustaf Skarsgard) had created a fantastic way to scale the high walls, this battle was always going to be a whole city against a small band of marauders.

Even so, the vikings fought to the bloody death trying to obtain victory.

The battle can be broken down like this (please excuse the order, the episode was crazy busy):

• Holy crap! Look at those walls!
• Let’s bash the doors down to create a distraction while Floki’s ships sneak in the back way and scale those walls.
• *door bashing doesn’t work*
• Let’s pull those doors out instead!
• Crossbows are no match for bows and arrows, wooden shield walls or axes.
• Blood, so much goddamned blood. Are there even any vikings left?
• Floki realises he’s not cut out to lead a battle and goes a little more crazy than he already is.

• Ragnar (Travis Fimmel) notices this and the viewers realise that Ragnar ALWAYS has a plan.
• Bjorn (Alexander Ludwig) finally steps up to the plate and does the right thing now he doesn’t have a lady friend to keep an eye on.
• Rollo (Clive Standen) battles like a beserker, catching the eye of Princess Gisela (Morgane Polanski) in the process – is that a match made in annoying heaven or what?!
• Whoops, Rollo looses his balance and falls over the high wall, plunging into the water below. Shit, is Rollo dead?!

• Speaking of fighting like a beserker, Ragnar takes over as crazy man, sticking his tongue out and throwing himself backwards off the wall. It is not pretty and it certainly isn’t nice to watch Ragnar Lothbrok bounce off every hard surface on the way down.
• Shit, is Ragnar dead?!

• Meanwhile, Lagertha (Katheryn Winnick) and Kalf (Ben Robson) have pulled out the doors and are met with… nothing. Not a bloody person is in sight!
• Forward they all march, not thinking it is a trap at all even though my 11 year old is shouting that very thing at the television.

• Yep, it’s a trap, but luckily Kalf works this out and knocks Lagertha unconscious, taking her out of the death zone just in the knick of time!
• It’s about now that you realise just how hopeless this venture was.

Casualties of War

Besides the huge toll of vikings now drinking in Valhalla, there are few notable deaths. Rollo actually survives, as does Ragnar – even if he is spitting blood and appears to have a few broken ribs. It is Bjorn that comes as a shock to the viewer! It seems he scored two bolts to his back and at first we think he is dead. Ragnar drags him back to camp and it turns out the wounds are not life threatening.

Ragnar is a Patient Man and Lagertha Gets a Sponge Bath

While most of this episode is bound by battle, there is a quiet moment or two. Firstly, we find Ragnar staggering into the forest to have a quick chat with Athelstan about game plan. It seems Ragnar does know Floki killed the priest and making Floki leader of the failed attack on Paris was very much in Ragnar’s plan of how to get back at him. While Ragnar claims to be a patient man, I am not at all impressed with just how many lives he is willing to sacrifice so that Floki can learn a lesson…

Secondly, we find Lagertha and Kalf sponging each other off. Kalf is still trying to woo Lagertha but the bitter taste of her lost Earldom is still fresh in her mouth. While I am pretty sure Lagertha and Kalf will end up married, Lagertha is still claiming she will kill Kalf eventually. I don’t doubt her one little bit.

Remember Kattegat? Well, it seems Þórunn (Gaia Weiss) is done with it, abandoned her baby, Siggy, and blown that joint. Having Aslaug (Alyssa Sutherland) left holding the baby with the same name as the woman who lost her life saving Aslaug’s sons seems somehow poetic…

What did you think of Episode 8 of History Channel’s Vikings? Let me know your thoughts by commenting below!

You can read my Episode 9 recap here.

(Photo Credits: History Channel, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.)

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• Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 7: Paris (vikingsnewsandrecaps.wordpress.com)

Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 7: Paris

Paris

Here’s what went down in Episode 7 (entitled Paris) Season 3 of History Channel’s Vikings:

Floki Spirals Ever Downward

I have loved Floki (Gustaf Skarsgard) for so long it feels like a stab to the heart what History Channel are doing to him this season. I truly thought I couldn’t be more conflicted than having one of my fave characters kill another of my fave characters last week, but it seems the misery bleeds through to this week as well. I am pretty sure Ragnar (Travis Fimmel) knows who killed Athelstan (George Blagden). He would be a fool not too with all the religious zealotry spewing from Floki’s mouth this season. Still, I was left shaking my head when Ragnar turns over the attack on Paris to Floki. Ragnar is either very stupid or has a hidden agenda and I am not sure which one I am hoping for.

Princess Kwenthrith of Mercia is Not So Crazy

The more I watch Vikings, the more I fall in love with the tenacity of Princess Kwenthrith (Amy Bailey). This woman gets shit done! In this episode we find out the consequences of that small peeing incident – it seems she has, conveniently, born Ragnar a child. And she uses this child gallantly in her negotiations with Prince Aethelwulf (Moe Dunford). These scenes are among my favourites this week as we see the game of kings and queens played out perfectly.

King Ecbert: the King who Can’t Lie Straight, Even in Bed

For such a long time fans thought King Ecbert (Linus Roach) would be the one person in power who wouldn’t try to double-cross Ragnar. But, alas, that hasn’t come to fruition and Ecbert seems to be the most rotten apple in a barrel you couldn’t even sell at market. And he will go to no ends to prove his ruthlessness. After sending in his son to sort out the mess that is Mercia, he makes his move on his son’s wife, Judith (Jennie Jacques). Yes, that’s right, it seems he will do anything for Judith and her son to Athelstan, even at the expense of his own flesh and blooded son. Or is it just another charming game on his behalf?

Paris

We knew Paris was the big shiny new thing for Ragnar to claim in Season 3, but now its shores are within sight. I must say, I was a little disappointed with how the city and its townsfolk were portrayed. King Charles of West Francia (Lothaire Bluteau) is less than the authority type having to bow to the whims and fancies of his daughter, Princess Gisela (Morgane Polanski) rather than Count Odo  (Owen Roe), a man who actually knows something about battle. It also seems like King Charles and Rollo (Clive Standen) have the same, my brother is better than me syndrome. To add insult to injury, the townsfolk of Paris are pretty flustered about the imminent invasion even though their fortifications are substantially grand. Honestly, I’m not even sure I care about Paris anymore…

Þórunn is Not as Tough as She Thinks

Þórunn (Gaia Weiss) is a character I feel like I should love but, more and more, I find her character spineless. I have said it before, and I will say it again; what did she expect from battle? She gets one little battle scar and instead of wearing it like a badge of honour she sulks, pushing both her husband and her child away from her misery. Meanwhile, as a result of this, Bjorn (Alexander Ludwig) has turned to the arms of another’s wife, Torvi (Georgia Hirst).

It will be interesting to see how next week’s episode plays out and whether Floki really can lead the Vikings into victory over Paris.

What are your thoughts on Episode 7 of History Channel’s Vikings? Let me know your thoughts by commenting below!

You can read my Episode 8 recap here.

(Photo Credits: History Channel, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.)

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• Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 6: Born Again (vikingsnewsandrecaps.wordpress.com)

Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 6: Born Again

BORN AGAIN

As the title suggests, this entire episode was an ode to all things religious and what men will do under the banner of it. Here’s what went down in Episode 6 (entitled Born Again) Season 3 of History Channel’s Vikings:

BAD THINGS HAPPEN:

VERY bad things. For starters, Lady Judith (Jennie Jacques) gets called om her infidelity and loses an ear in the process before she fesses up to Althelstan (George Blagden) being her baby’s daddy. Not sure what game King Ecbert (Linus Roache) is playing, but he manages to convince his son, Aethelwulf (Moe Dunford), that Athelstan is a pious man and the child must have been conceived by the grace of God. The child will now be christened Alfred, and, if the history books are anything to go by, it will be this child who grows up to be Alfred the Great, the king who managed to repel the vikings.

As for the other bad thing, I’ll get to that…

SPEAKING OF BABIES:

Considering this episode has time jumped enough for Judith to birth her baby, that also means it is time for Þórunn (Gaia Weiss) to have her baby. While her and Bjorn Ironside (Alexander Ludwig) are still suffering as a result of Þórunn’s battle scar issues (really, lovie, what did you think battle was about – swinging axes and drinking ale?), they are still happy to see the safe arrival of their daughter. Bjorn promptly names her Siggy in honour of the woman that saved his brothers lives while forsaking her own. So now Aslaug (Alyssa Sutherland) is feeling like shit and Ragnar Lothbrok (Travis Fimmel) is rubbing that shit in her face some more as a result.

NEW ALLIANCES:

Ragnar is getting ready to go to Paris so it is time for Kalf (Ben Robson) to turn up with a mane of hair that makes his name look even more ridiculous. He has finally revealed his hand to Ragnar also, bringing along both Erlendur (Edvin Endre) and Torvi (Georgia Hirst) which, naturally, throws off Ragnar and you can just see his mind ticking over at how he will kill before Erlendur, inevitably, kills him – because that’s just how vikings roll…

Oh, and Torvi, she is totally getting lucky with Bjorn which will muddy the waters even more if she gets pregnant to him.

Kalf and Lagertha (Katheryn Winnick) are still playing that awkward ‘will they, won’t they’ game and my prediction is they will end up marrying rather than fighting over their earldoms.

KING ECBERT GETS DOBBED ON:

While Aethelwulf did his best to eradicate the entire viking settlement in Britain last week – naturally, one person survived to tell the tale. He has made it back and spilled the beans to Floki (Gustaf Skarsgard) who then goes all religious fevour on Ragnar’s arse (but more on that later). Ragnar fixes the problem by killing the poor sole survivor to keep the secret safe – for now. But just how quiet will Floki keep on the matter? Only time will tell.

THE REALLY BIG BAD HORRIBLE THING:

Actually, this can be broken up into the two sections: the bit where Athelstan dies and the bit where I am so conflicted because one of my fave characters kills another of my fave characters and now I am as shitty as hell at Floki for making me feel this way!

So Athelstan, after all his religious see-sawing, goes and gets all born again. And for anyone who has ever come across a born againer, you know just how annoying they can be. In his excitement, Athelstan tells Ragnar about his new religious fevour status and immediately starts to try and convert Ragnar. This is hilarious thanks to Ragnar totally not getting half of what Athelstan is saying: “What do you mean born again? Like a baby?” But then Ragnar gets all serious when Athelstan says he will be leaving Kattegat and confessing his love for the priest and there is a whole heap of manly love going on in the room and this is the point when I just know Floki is going to kill Athelstan.

While Athelstan is getting born again in his faith, the viking equivalent, Floki, is getting confirmation from his gods that any religion is capable of murder in the name of religion. While the vikings did it first, it is still a shock when Floki and Athelstan confront each other with their equally unyielding beliefs. While Floki feels the need to kill the offending religion, Athelstan chooses to be a martyr and die for his faith.

So Floki slays Athelstan. <insert bawling and howling at the TV here>

RAGNAR AND ATHELSTAN ARE BEST MATES FOREVER…

Ragnar does the right thing and takes Athelstan’s body off to bury in the ground as per his beliefs, because even though these two men completely believe in their faiths, their friendship is actually beyond what religion can tear down. And this is why I think Athelstan’s demise was wrong for this series. Not because he is one of my favourite characters, but because he is the sound board  between the two sides and the reason why we question what occurs on this show. Without Athelstan, it will be more Christians vs. Vikings and less of those delicious grey areas in between.

Anyway, so Ragnar buries Athelstan and I am crying all over again because Ragnar totally gets that while his faith and Athelstan’s both believe in an afterlife, it is highly unlikely they will ever meet up again after their lives are finished.

What did you think of Episode 6 of Vikings? Let me know your thoughts by commenting below!

You can read my Episode 7 recap here.

And, just because this bit was hilarious, and the very end of this episode was so wrought with grief, here’s Ragnar getting woken up:

(Photo Credits: History Channel, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.)

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• Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 5: The Usurper (vikingsnewsandrecaps.wordpress.com)

Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 5: The Usurper

The Usurper

Here’s what went down in Episode 5 (entitled The Usurper) Season 3 of History Channel’s Vikings:

Rollo does what Rollo does best: Drink

So Rollo (Clive Standen) finds out Siggy (Jessalyn Gilsig) is dead and starts drinking. No surprise there. Bjorn (Alexander Ludwig) beating the shit out of him for the fact he is pulling the ‘poor me’ card yet again was a bit of a changer though. I think I just might like this kid after all! Of course, Bjorn was probably just compensating for the fact he couldn’t protect his woman either, so that puts them back into the same boat again.

Oh, and Rollo, the reason why you will never excel past your brother’s achievements is the fact you get drunk every time you encounter a problem. When Ragnar gets hit with a shitty fate sandwich, he takes goes to war and claims another title for himself!

Ragnar is no fool Aslaug

Just a tip Aslaug (Alyssa Sutherland), by not saying anything incriminates you just as much as fessing up to sleeping with Harbard (Kevin Durand)! Ragnar Lothbrok (Travis Fimmel) is no fool and while he may not be faithful to his wife, at least he is honest about it.

Floki is the viking equivalent of a fanatical Christian

I know you love your gods and your viking ways Floki (Gustaf Skarsgard) but it totally makes you look like an unyielding religious fanatic. You know, like those you are badmouthing? While I love you dearly, my patience is being tested every time you rag on Ragnar about his alliances.

Speaking of alliances…

Let me just say up front that the very end of this episode confused the hell out of me. And the more I think about it, the more I am confused by it. Let me point out my concerns:

• King Ecbert (Linus Roache), the man who has a collection of pagan works and has been open to different religions since the very first time we laid eyes on him has suddenly decided he’s not a viking sympathiser. While he may have been lying right form the very start, there has been absolutely no indication (bar the conversation he had last week with Ragnar about being corrupt) to the viewer that Ecbert was anything but the English equivalent of Ragnar.
• Sending in your son to wipe out the new viking settlement is stupid on so many levels.
• For starters, you called everyone else out as committing treason. Correct me if I’m wrong, isn’t that punishable by death? If so, shouldn’t you kill your son also, Ecbert?
• If you don’t kill your son because you think having him around to blame for the viking bloodbath is still in keeping with your agreement with Ragnar, let me tell you right now – it’s not.
• King Ecbert, I count down the days until your demise now. We have seen Ragnar take out the Earl of Kattegat (Gabriel Byrne), Jarl Borg (Thorbjørn Harr) and King Horik (Donal Logue) for lesser things.
• Is it just me, or is Vikings starting to get a little predictable? Every time Ragnar forms an alliance, he is double crossed. How long will it be before fans start turning off?

Paris

This week all Ragnar can talk about (when he isn’t quizzing his wife about why she wasn’t watching their sons) is Paris! Suddenly it’s the shiny new thing. I know there have been articles on how Season 3 will be making the trip to Paris, but, as a viewer simply watching the show, Paris seems like the new thing that hasn’t really been explained yet it is now all Ragnar can talk about.

And Athelstan (George Blagden), while you may know about Paris somewhat (which is this episode news to me), let me just tell you that one sexual encounter with a woman does not entitle you to speak to Ragnar like you are a pro in this department, makes you look like a creep, or an Ecbert sympathiser…

Lagertha vs. Ragnar

So while Lagertha (Katheryn WInnick) has been on board with helping Ragnar in all his escapades across the world, it seems the favour is not easily reciprocated. When it is discovered that Kalf (Ben Robson) has appointed himself earl of Hedeby and Lagertha asks for support, the only Ragnar can offer comes in the form of offering Kalf a place in his Paris-raiding army. Pissed of much Lagertha?

Oh, and History channel, where oh where was Kalf’s band of disgruntled Ragnar offcasts?

What did you think of Episode 5 of Vikings? Let me know your thoughts by commenting below!

You can read my Episode 6 recap here.

(Photo Credits: History Channel, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.)

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• Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 4: Scarred (vikingsnewsandrecaps.wordpress.com)

Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 4: Scarred

SCARRED

This episode starts to draw together a whole heap of story lines – some you had even forgotten about! Here’s what went down in Episode 4 (entitled Scarred) Season 3 of History Channel’s Vikings:

Christians and Vikings unite! Erm.. sort of… no, not really:

Floki (Gustaf Skarsgard) is like the broken record everyone just wants to shut up. He is raging at Rollo (Clive Standen) for having been baptised and as a result of this now falling under the spell of the new god, Jesus Christ. In fact he is telling anyone who will listen that the vikings are basically having their balls cut in the name of the shiny new god.

Besides Floki, it seems Prince Aethelwulf (Moe Dunford) is trying to get along with his pagan comrades. And that is going down about as well as Floki’s whinging. It will be very interesting to see how this hot mess blows up later on (because it totally will).

Athelstan gets laid:

Totally left of field here. It seems History channel has spent more than two seasons showing us just how pious Athelstan (George Blagden) really is. Then, we jump from Lady Judith (Jennie Jacques) last week telling Athelstan that she has to remain true to her faith and her husband, to this week bumping uglies with him – and neither of them seem to give a remote shit about their longstanding beliefs. Whoa! Just a reminder History channel, between last week’s episode and this week’s there was no actually time jump, so what you’ve done is completely out of character.

Although, *high fives Athelstan* Athelstan got lucky! And that is actually something I was looking forward to because I think, on an intellectual level, Athelstan knows all religions are one and the same and therefore what he does with his body is probably not anything the god/s really care about.

On a side note, considering it looked like Floki saw one of their trysts, it will be interesting to see just how much this will come to a head later on considering Floki’s obvious disdain for Athelstan.

King Ecbert gets burned:

King Ecbert (Linus Roache) gets his ‘I’m a man and you’re a lady‘ hat on and tries to persuade Lagertha (Katheryn Winnick) to stay behind in Wessex. This totally backfires on him because Lagertha is not your typical English rose who can be told what to do. Instead, Lagertha calls him on the fact he has no interest in anyone else other than himself. So, in this episode, both Lagertha and Athelstan decide to return home with Ragnar (Travis Fimmel) rather than stay and be pawns in Ecbert’s English games.

Ragnar gets peed on:

Speaking of Ragnar, he suffered a nasty graze at his previous battle and fans, having seen what happened to Torstein (Jefferson Hall), many – myself included – are starting to panic. But have no fear, Princess Kwenthrith (Amy Bailey) of Mercia is here! Behold her amazing powers of renewal! Yep, the princess pees on Ragnar’s wound, and voila! he seems instantly better. So well in fact that she squats over him again, but I think it might be a healing of another type…

A game of Vikings and Kings and crazy princesses:

All along Princess Kwenthrith has wanted her brother, Burgred (Aaron Monaghan), saved from death. We all thought it was because Kwenthrith loved him. We all thought she loved him because he seemed to be the only member of her family that didn’t want to rape her.

Oh boy, were we wrong!

So at the grand feast welcoming the return of Prince Burgred everything seems to be going along well until he and Kwenthrith have a speech. It gets a bit weird in a Jaime and Cersei (from HBO’s Game of Thrones) kind of way. But then Kwenthrith gets this look on her face and you know, you just KNOW she had a plan all along.

And that plan involves poison.

So Burgred totally dies, poisoned at the hand of his sister IN FRONT OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN BRITAIN. Just when you thought her level of crazy had peaked…

SO who wants to toast the fact that Burgred is dead (just like they all really wanted it)? Yeah, they all toast the one remaining ruler of Mercia, but hell NO they are not drinking that wine!

Bjorn, rhymes with yawn:

I know I should care more about this character, but Bjorn’s (Alexander Ludwig) story line is all just a bit boring. Not sure why, because, honestly, it shouldn’t be. After all, he is struggling in the shadow of his famous father, and if history is correct, he will rise above Ragnar’s fame by his own right, but something is missing. Not sure if it is is the pretty hair, the fact he looks just too clean to be a legit viking, or if the chemistry is lacking between him and his fiance, Þórunn (Gaia Weiss).

But, anyway, we get to see just how mashed Þórunn’s face really is this week. We also see Bjorn insist that he loves her regardless of how she looks. And that is the end of that until next time.

Now for the interesting stuff:

Remember how Ragnar killed Jarl Borg (Thorbjørn Harr)? How could anyone forget it?! Well, Ragnar, in his infinite kindness and respect for child bearing women, let Jarl’s pregnant wife, Torvi (Georgia Hirst), live.

First mistake.

Now you need to think back to the end of Season 2 when Ragnar killed King Horik (Donal Logue). Remember how Horik’s son, Erlendur (Edvin Endre), was spared?

Yeah, that’s the second mistake.

It seems Kalf (Ben Robson) has taken the pair (who are now wed as well as Torvia having produced a son and heir to Jarl Borg) on board. Looks like Lagertha will have her hands full when she returns to Hedeby!

RIP…

It seems, back in Kattegat, Aslaug (Alyssa Sutherland) is sick of waiting for her husband. You know, the one she stole from another? So beds down with Harbard (Kevin Durand). Siggy (Jessalyn Gilsig) is pissy at this and tells the queen so. Not that Aslaug really gives a shit since she will do as she pleases, because, hello, she’s a queen.

Siggy, in true form, is not at all impressed and is still feeling considerably uneasy about Harbard. She still sticks by Ragnar’s sons though and when they up and leave to find their mother, Siggy follows behind.

She finds the children hanging out on a frozen lake. This is when it all goes wrong. The ice starts cracking and the two boys fall through. Siggy, being the honourable woman she is dives right in and rescues them. In the process, she is helped by her dead daughter, Thyri (Elinor Crawley) and Harbard.

The image of her daughter is a mirage, Harbard is not. Considering Harbard needs to take human sacrifices in order to relieve the pain of Aslaug’s son, Ivan the boneless, and he is now one down on sacrifices, it is time for Siggy to enter Valhalla.

To be honest, this death felt weird, wrong weird. Not fitting at all of Siggy’s time on Vikings. However, the actress has revealed since this episode screened, that she had family issues and chose to leave the show, so I guess this is the best they could do. And, in hindsight, I guess Siggy did what was in character for her, she was once an Earl’s wife and knew how important heir’s are, so chose to save them over her own life.

What did you think of Episode 4 of History channel’s Vikings? Let me know your thoughts by commenting below!

You can read my Episode 5 recap here.

(Photo Credits: History Channel, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.)

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Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 3: Warrior’s Fate

WARRIOR’S FATE

Here’s what went down in Episode 3 (entitled Warrior’s Fate) Season 3 of History Channel’s Vikings:

Firstly, the warrior:

Poor Torstein (Jefferson Hall) was left hanging by a thread in last week’s episode. This week we find out whether he lives or dies. Now, according to viking tradition, only those who die in battle will enter Valhalla but I am not really sure on the etiquette of what happens when you are injured during battle but die afterwards. Judging by Tortstein’s determination to join in with this week’s battle, I will assume only battle deaths count. So, Torstein convinces Ragnar (Travis Fimmel) to take him on the raid against Princess Kwenthrith of Mercia’s (Amy Bailey) brother. And what a battle it turns out to be. Torstein offers to act as decoy and staggers up over the hill and into British territory. As expected, this confuses the shit out of the Englishmen and when Torstein stabs one of them, they find it almost comical.

Needless to say though, it is RIP Torstein. You were a fine warrior and will be greatly missed. 😦

Then Ragnar owns that mountain and kicks their butt!

Actually, scratch that, he kicks some of their butts. When the fight ends with the reality that there is a secondary army behind that is massive, you think Ragnar just might have bitten off more than he can chew.

Except Aethelwulf (Moe Dunford) – remember him? Yep, I had totally forgotten about his army – is high on top of the mountain above Kwenthrith’s brother’s army. So, needless to say, the renegade Brits are whipped and Kwenthrith gets her brother safely returned to her!

As a side note, Ragnar gets a nick from an arrow in this scene – here’s hoping it doesn’t escalate to level Torstein!

Let’s chat about treason shall we?

The conversation King Ecbert (Linus Roach) has with some of his men trying to dissuade the king from siding with the Lagertha (Katheryn Winnick) and the vikings can definitely be considered treason. This line toeing in relation to treason is pretty obvious – and nipped in the bud quickly by Ecbert. But, later on, Floki (Gustaf Skarsgard) also brings up the same argument from the other side which pisses off Ragnar enough to pull a King Ecbert on Floki’s arse as well.

Bjorn is a dumb arse

I actually felt sorry for Bjorn (Alexander Ludwig) this week. Here he is with a beautiful new fiance who is more hotheaded than his mother. As a result of this, he lets her head in to battle while pregnant. After receiving a severe beating and almost getting killed, Bjorn has to deal with the fact that not only did he almost lose her and their unborn child, but he now has to deal with the wrath of his father. While Ragnar may allow women into battle, he most certainly does not condone pregnant women on the battle field. Bjorn still has a lot to learn if he is to take over as leader after Ragnar.

Lagertha gets lucky

So it has been very obvious that King Ecbert has been horny as a school boy around Lagertha, but the shield maiden has kept her cards close to her chest in relation to her feelings for him. Well, that changed dramatically this week when Lagertha takes a bath with the king, Athelstan (George Blagden) and Lady Judith (Jennie Jacques).

And was it just me, or was everyone else waiting for Athelstan to get another threesome invite after the king and Lagertha started getting jiggy in front of the others?

Athelstan doesn’t get lucky

No surprise here. My prediction is Athelstan will eventually succumb to Lady Judith’s feminine wiles. I also predict that this will cause more conflict between Judith and her faith than it will Athelstan and his.

The Wanderer gets freaky

Meanwhile, back in Kattegat, the Wanderer (Kevin Durand) – who now has a name: Harbard, regales Aslaug (Alyssa Sutherland), Siggy (Jessalyn Gilsig) and Helga (Maude Hirst) with his fabulous tales. It’s all very tame until Ivan the boneless starts crying. Then things take a turn for (possibly) the sinister. It seems Harbard has a way with babies and manages to take away Ivan pain which lets him go back to sleep.

Just don’t mind the two dead children who turn up floating in the water the next day without a scratch between them as an indication of death… Pretty sure the ‘removal of pain’ involved taking their lives somehow and it will be interesting to see how this plays out considering Kevin Durand has already confessed to being present at the death of a major Vikings character. My prediction is that that death will be the Seer’s (John Kavanagh) and Harbard will take over that role in subsequent seasons of Vikings.

Fertility Rites

So, a while back, there was a mini meltdown on Instagram and Twitter when Katheryn Winnick showed off an image (pictured below) of herself covered in blood. Many people started to panic but tonight all was laid to rest when Lagertha performed a fertility rite to bless her new farmlands. Phew!

Don’t mess with me. #Lagertha #behindthescenes #inamood #Vikings

A photo posted by Katheryn Winnick (@katherynwinnick) on Jul 15, 2014 at 1:29pm PDT

Vikings is a many layered treat

I must say, this week’s episode really made it clear that only one viewing of each Vikings episode is never enough. With each conversation, scene or event, there are many layers delivered to the viewer – whether they realise it or not! The History Channel show can be enjoyed just as that – a show based loosely on historical fact. Yet, there is so much more to be gained! For example, the wonderful layers that delve into the political and (especially) the religious view point at the time meld beautifully with the viewpoints of these beliefs today and allow the viewer to question their own beliefs as a result. There is so many story lines running under the surface that it makes me feel like I need to watch each episode at least twice to fully appreciate Michael Hirst’s amazing scripts!

What did you think of Episode 3 of History Channel’s Vikings? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

You can read my Episode 4 recap here.

(Photo Credits: History Channel, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc./Instagram/Katheryn Winnick)

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Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 2: The Wanderer

THE WANDERER

Episode 2 (entitled The Wanderer) Season 3 of History Channel’s Vikings picks up where the last episode finished – the conclusion of the battle between Ragnar Lothbrok (Travis Fimmel) and the Princess Kwenthrith of Mercia’s (Amy Bailey) Uncle Brihtwulf (Ian Beattie). It seems the princess is pretty happy to see her uncle dead – and with good reason too! Once she explains the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of the man, Ragnar is happy to bring her the head of her uncle. Watching her knife the bastard repeatedly seems to increase Floki’s (Gustaf Skarsgard) opinion of the English woman.

Bjorn (Alexander Ludwig) and Þórunn (Gaia Weiss) discuss the age old problem that occurs between the sexes: just how far should a man protect his woman. Even though Þórunn teases him , he still proposes to her in his bid to control her via any means possible. Þórunn – you would think – will spit the proposal back in his face but says yes and my opinion of her drops as a result – I don’t watch this show for weddings and shit.

Rollo (Clive Standen) gets a tad bit high thanks to the mushrooms he’s feeding the injured Torstein (Jefferson Hall). As a result of this he hacks off the leg of a captive and then kills the poor bastard just because of the ‘angle of his leg’. Yeah, not making me like you in the slightest Rollo… Then you go and grope the good princess Kwenthrith after her rape story and I totally hate your guts. Note to Þórunn – that’s how a viking should treat her man – and Kwenthrith isn’t even of your ilk!

So Kwenthrith’s brother’s army does a dump and run when Ragnar’s boats show up decorated with the heads of all those killed in the battle at the end of Episode 1 (entitled Mercenary). Kwenthrith convinces her brother to stay though with the promise of safety. Even so, he runs along with the rest of his army.

Thanks to some pretty standard torture methods, Aethelwulf (Moe Dunford) manages to locate Kwenthrith’s missing brother before they can fully amass another army.

Poor Torstein the injured, decides he needs his arm cut off and Floki agrees to do it. Yeah, this scene – although brief – reminds me of the blood eagle. I am pretty sure Torstein will not last long beyond Episode 3 with a title like Warrior’s Fate.

MEANWHILE, IN WESSEX…

Dirt, what viking women want on Valentine’s Day

Lagertha (Katheryn Winnick) is nutting out her new free land, trying to find any possible loopholes that King Ecbert (Linus Roach) might have forgotten to mention. All the king wants to know is if Lagertha is single.

In the midst of him trying to wine and dine her, it seems Athelstan (George Blagden) might turn out to have more of a role than simply ‘interpreter’ this season when Lady Judith (Jennie Jacques) – who is a good married woman – continues in her attempts to woo him. In this scene, Athelstan comes very close to calling the Christians on their theft of their religion from the earlier pagan religions. And, holy heck, afterwards, don’t we just get the greatest scene involving religious guilt and sexual tension that I think I have ever seen when Judith goes to confession?

AND WHAT OF KATTEGAT?

Helga (Maude Hirst) is discussing her prophetic dream with Aslaug (Alyssa Sutherland) and Siggy (Jessalyn Gilsig). Turns out all three have had the same dream. At first they feel no fear from their joint vision, but then they dream of the Seer (John Kavanagh) bound and bloody and they start to worry in earnest. And is it just me, or is anyone else getting a ‘Witches of Eastwick‘ vibe off this whole story line? Needless to say, we finally get to meet the mysterious Wanderer (Kevin Durand) – even if it does take the whole episode to get there.

HEDEBY, SCANDINAVIA

It seems Kalf (Ben Robson) is stirring up shit by saying Lagertha has left her people for England, to the point he gets himself appointed as the new earl! Even though Kalf seems happy with his new role, something doesn’t sit right with him as he is dreaming of Ragnar eating his liver.

THE HOLY TRINITY

This episode finishes up with a bloody arm, an injured hand and the return of Athelstan’s stigmata. Considering, Norse lore considers the Wanderer as an euphemism for Odin himself, I was left feeling this episode was entirely about religion and not at all about the game of kings and their battle for supremacy as first suspected.

What were your thoughts on Episode 2 of History Channel’s Vikings? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

You can read my Episode 3 recap here.

(Photo Credits: History Channel, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.)

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SEASON PREMIERE: Vikings Season 3 Recap – Episode 1: Mercenary

MERCENARY

Welcome to my very first recap of History Channel’s Vikings! Want to catch up on Season 1 and 2 of the show before you find out what went down in Season 3 Episode 1 (entitled Mercenary)? Then you need to check out the video below:

Okay, now you know what to expect, let’s jump right in shall we?

We find Ragnar (Travis Fimmel) with his newly appointed (but not like he suggested plot point rich) haircut chatting to his son, Bjorn (Alexander Ludwig) about being a reluctant king, wielding power and all those things that vikings talk about in the midst of winter when there is nothing else much to do.

Others, however, are getting itchy feet. Floki (Gustaf Skarsgard) is just plain going batshit crazy with all the happy around him, so his new wife, Helga (Maude Hirst) is happy to send him a-raiding! Other vikings have gotten themselves between a rock and a hard place by placing too many buns in the oven and are happy to get away from their warring womenfolk. And then there is Rollo (Clive Standen) who is messed up personified and perpetually ready to meet Valhalla.

So off to England they go because King Ecbert (Linus Roache) promised them farmable land – but wait, what’s that catch? Ragnar is needed to fight against warring kings and queens? It seems the rambunctious Princess Kwenthrith of Mercia (Amy Bailey) is having a spat with her brother and uncle over lands. Is it just me, or is this the English equivalent of what went down between King Horik (Donal Logue) and Jarl Borg (Thorbjørn Harr) all over again?

Anyhow, vikings live and die honorably by the sword, so they all agree to settle this spat and the scene is set for an epic battle.

And epic it is.

It seems the English came up with this brilliantly dumb idea to set up on two adjoining (but completely unattached) patches of land. The plan was to attach Ragnar’s group from both sides – I think. But in all their smugness, they forgot the one gaping flaw: If Ragnar attached one side, there was no way for the other mob to come round and help. So Ragnar (with the help of Floki lopping of a royal head) totally brings down the smaller group IN FRONT OF THE OTHERS and succeeds in completely scaring the shit out of the remaining English party.

And that’s how vikings get shit done!

Now let’s go back and have a look at what else was going on in Episode 1.

RELATIONSHIPS

• It seems likely that King Ecbert and Lagertha (Katheryn Winnick) will get their jiggy on this season since the king appeared captivated by the shield maiden from the very onset.
• Bjorn and Þórunn (Gaia Weiss) will not have a straight run to the altar. Þórunn is determined never to be controlled by a man again as she journeys from slave to shield maiden. Bjorn is pigheaded and not at all like his father when it comes to letting the women he loves fight. Pretty sure Ragnar is going to have words about how Bjorn was more interested in protecting his girl during battle than fighting alongside everyone.
• If you have read into the sagas of Ragnar, you will know that Ragnar has three wives. And it seems Season 3 might also herald in the arrival of wife #3 with Aslaug (Alyssa Sutherland) getting cranky at the sight of Ragnar going off to England with his first wife, Lagertha, in tow. If that isn’t enough, Princess Kwenthrith, the ever horny, seems determined to get a viking earl into her bed. Wouldn’t it be interesting if Ragnar returned with a pregnant English princess in tow?

DECEPTION

Lagertha’s second in charge, Kalf (Ben Robson) who we totally haven’t heard much about until just now, appears to be lining up to double cross in Season 3. He might now want Ragnar to find this out…

So what did you think of the Season 3 premiere of History Channel’s Vikings? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

Video Source: YouTube – Catch up on Vikings

You can read my Episode 2 recap here.

Video Source: YouTube – Catch up on Vikings

(Photo Credits: History Channel, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.)